While I was out in LA recently, I had a lunch meeting with a notable fashion designer. We’ll call her Tasty, I suppose because I’m hungry at the moment. NO! We’ll call her Tasty because she has great taste in fashion.
Well Tasty brought a friend along to lunch and we got to a random point in the conversation when the guest was discussing the date she was going on later that night. She was super excited, like she’s been starving for a date for eons. So she completely interrupted our business meeting to describe the dress she was going to wear. “It’s kind of like a tiger print, well not really tiger but kinda like..” Right then, Tasty stopped her in her tracks.
Tasty began ranting that prints are not for dates! She was about as passionate for fashion in this moment as Bey in the breakdown of Upgrade U. “Most men are turned off by prints, it’s too aggressive and too strong… it’s just doing too much. You’re unapproachable. Your loud ass outfit should not lead the date, let the man lead.” At first I thought to myself, wow, what a generalization. But I stayed quiet of course, speaking only when spoken to in regards to women and how they look.
The guest got defensive saying all she ever wears is prints – floral, animal, argyle. At lunch she had on a white dress with hot pink flowers and green stems and a pink cardigan. It was nice for sure, for lunch or a picnic. Yet slowly I thought to myself “yea… that wouldn’t do it for me for a first date though.”
She continued to describe what she was going to wear that night as a strapless bright yellow dress with black tiger stripes and open toe shoes with some details. Needless to say, Tasty went off. “Yea, that’s nice bumblebee! What did you have on when he first approached you? I bet it was something simple that you didn’t even think was your best outfit. If that’s how he approached you, that’s the look you want to start off with. Women dress to impress other women instead of impressing men”
I couldn’t help but nod. Tasty knew what she was talking about!! I’ve been saying this for the last ten years. Women can say that they are having a bad hair day and most of the time I have no idea what they’re talking about; their hair looks great to me. Women over accessorize sometimes when I feel like we’re just chilling. Then you start to wonder if she was expecting to do more than you’re doing on the date. Like if she’s rocking her Birkin bag but we’re bowling… But all the same, sometimes I like a risk-taking woman who tries something different with her outfit, hair, makeup. Sometimes I want her to Sarah Jessica Parker it, or Rihanna it for me one time. No one wants to date a plane Jane, or do we?
I kept quiet, thinking to myself, I don’t even want to see how this turns out. But like two women, of course, they put me on the spot, “Rondel, what do you think?!” I didn’t know what to say. I mean I totally agree that women often worry about things only another woman would notice or care about. BUT, should a woman dress to a standard for a first date, even if it’s stifling her spirit? Tasty suggested a simple black dress (or some other solid color) and plain heels, no bright lipstick and definitely no red lips. Simple can definitely be sexy. But if the woman’s personality is loud and boisterous, wouldn’t playing it low key in a simple dress and heels be misleading? And fellas, are we as simple as they make us seem?
Comment and let me know what you think! And stay tuned for part two of “Who Are You Dressing For?” where I let you know what Tasty’s guest wore on her date and how it turned out.
Well you know what, I think Tasty is right. I always go simple on the first date. Usually black or beige and light simple makeup. I mean I wear prints when I want but not really when just getting to know a man. They are that simple. Just stupid, men are just stupid.
Comment by Annisa — August 21, 2009 @ 12:26 am
i dont like surprises. a girl should be who she is period… i mean, i may have met here in the clothing store wearing shorts and a tank, but thats not what i wanna date per se. i dunno. I think a woman should be herself. As long as her hair is done and she pulled together, im good. print or color are apart of it, but not the only part.
Comment by cdotl — August 21, 2009 @ 2:31 am
MMMMMM this is interesting. Wow I guess I never thought about not wearing prints on a first date but then again I don’t think I have a consistent style. Much more of a mood dresser. So if I’m in the mood I just may wear prints…animal print and all which I love or I may wear black which I love as well. I think as women we do dress for ourselves and for other women because you just never know with men. I’ve met men that like simple and I’ve also met men that want a fashion diva.
Comment by Noreen — August 21, 2009 @ 2:36 am
LOL @ Annisa. Men are just stupid.
Comment by Noreen — August 21, 2009 @ 2:46 am
Meh- wear what is comfortable and you feel most confident in. If that’s prints and patterns, so be it. See, that type of nonsense is what has men and women going “he didn’t look like that when I met him” 6 months down the line. If you follow Tasty’s advice, of course not- the way they were dressing wasn’t reflective of their true personality, and once they get comfy, they’re going to slip. Personally, I’ve got a loud personality- wearing some “little black dress” with “meh” shoes and “plain” makeup? I would feel like I didn’t look my best, which would make for an uncomfortable date. And isn’t the point of a date to let the person get to know YOU? Same for guys- I’m not saying if you’re a sweats and sandals guy, that’s acceptable date wear. But there’s no sense in showing up in a Savile Row suit either, when the other 6 days out of the week you look nothing like that.
Comment by jaedalaurez — August 21, 2009 @ 9:58 am
I dress for me 1st, and men 2nd. Well sometimes men first. I don’t think I dress for women at all because I don’t know any women who have the same taste as me…except maybe Rihanna and Lady Gaga lmao There are definitely a lot of men like you, who look at women first to appreciate that she is a woman, but there are a lot of men who pick women a part. I don’t understand it, but it happens.
Comment by SOjdanielle — August 21, 2009 @ 11:44 am
I think you should have a great balance b/t dressing for yourself and still be appealing to the opposite sex. Personally, I am simple as it comes as far as dressing. Thankfully, I usually end up w/ guys who appreciate the simple AND see the beauty in the subtle details that mean the most. I’ll save the flashy ish for whenever i feel like and the timing works..and thats probably not the first date..lol
Comment by Tadi — August 21, 2009 @ 11:55 am
I wear what I want when I want…period LOL
I mean if a guy does not like me because I do or don’t wear makeup or wear leopard prints etc then he can kick rocks… LOL
Great post Rondel!
Ally
Comment by Ally Marie — August 21, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
I know its cliche but you never have a second change to make a first impression. Classy & simple never stared anyone wrong. In my opinion, if a woman wants to be bold…let it be in your accessories. Tasty could of wore a black dress with some leopard print heels. That way her flair is there, but simply stated and not on show the entire night. Just my thoughts.
Comment by Apuje — August 22, 2009 @ 12:16 am
[...] Who Are You Dressing For? Part 1 [...]
Pingback by Who Are You Dressing For? Part 2 « Vitalize Ent - Redefining The Word "Entertainment" — August 23, 2009 @ 4:32 pm
lol I loved this article…I delayed on reading it for some reason…anyway..I never thought of the bold vs classic approach when it comes to dressing for a first date; very interesting. I usually dress to fit my personality so I feel pretty safe with that; cause I know what I’m portraying is a reflection of some aspect of me.
Comment by Stace — September 1, 2009 @ 3:35 pm
i think everyone should just be themselves… if the lady wants to wear prints, let her wear prints… she shouldn’t fake the funk because of some fear that the man won’t like her… men are supposed to like a women for who they are, not what they wear on a first date… everyone likes to make a good impression, but it has to be one that you are happy with
Comment by roro — September 1, 2009 @ 5:48 pm
I believe that subtle attire on the first date is a better choice. I love the first dress, it is sassy, sexy and subtle all mixed in one. If your personality is strong, then I recommend the first black dress with a patterned shoe or sandal and accessories to taste. Surprisingly, men prefer women who wear outfits that leave something for their imagination. Men often look at women wearing tiger/leopard prints as being easy and just looking for a good time. From my many, many years of observation, if you are looking for a serious relationship, then you don’t want to wear red lipstick and/or tiger/leopard print clothing on the first date. Get to know each other then ease in the full tiger/leopard print outfits!
))
Comment by Momma Annie — October 5, 2009 @ 2:12 pm