Very touchy topic covered by ABC. According to their study, 42% of successful black women are single and have never been married, compared to 21% of white women. The video discussion goes into black women’s selectivity – or lack thereof, successful single black males being a rare commodity, interracial marriages by black women doubling in the last year and more.
I personally know more than a handful of successful black females who fit the criteria of the women being interviewed in this video. They’re concerned about their biological clocks ticking, of never creating the family they always wanted to go along with their otherwise picture perfect life. It is an awful thing to see a woman who has it all together settle for someone who has nothing and is basically a leach. At the end of the day, those parasitic relationships never work out anyway. I don’t think anyone should settle for less than what they deserve, but I think given the statistics, it’s definitely worth it for black women to figure out which of their criteria is necessary and which is complementary. For example, if a black woman went to grad school and/or is making $100K+ a year, has a perfectly fit body, beautiful face, great personality and is family oriented – does she need a man who is all of that 6′2″, likes to cook, rollerblade AND makes $20K more than her? If so, good luck to you. And even in a not so extreme case, there are women who have a modestly successful life – living comfortably – who have an issue finding decent black men who can at least provide for themselves. What I want to say is hold on, we are out there… you may have the odds against you but we are out there.
Watch the video and let me know your thoughts. Feel free to share your struggles, observations or possible solutions.
By Purple Pump
I’m a 25 yr old VERY single lady, so naturally I go out do single things and meet guys. Out of the last 4 guys I’ve met only ONE was childless. Now a few years ago, if you had a kid or kids I wasn’t checkin for ya, no ifs ands or buts about it. But recently I came to the conclusion that it is going to be extremely hard for me to meet guys without a kid. I just feel like I’m in the age range (25-30) where it’s very common for single men to have kids. Now that I’m older, I don’t have a big issue with dating guys with kids. I also feel like if I wanna date, I don’t really have room to be judgy towards men with kids. By the time I rule out those that are in situations, those that don’t like the ladies, and the unworthy ones, the pickings are slim.
Based on responses received on twitter, I’m not the only female experiencing this. While discussing this common theme with a few guy friends, they said that they don’t meet too many baby mamas. Even in friends/associates, I have one girlfriend who is expecting but I have MANY guy friends that have kids. If single women are meeting/dating baby daddies then who’s dating the baby mamas?! Are the baby daddies still dating the baby mamas AND other women? Are the baby mamas too busy to date? Do their careers and kid(s) take precedence over dating? Are the women in this age range not having kids as much as the men are (lots of guys date younger women)? I don’t know the answer, but I was curious to know what other people think is goings on…
What do yall think about all of this? And ladies, how do you feel about dating baby daddies?
