There’s a great blog out there called A Belle in Brooklyn, authored by a southern woman who journals her adventures of life in the BK. Recenly she had a very thought provoking post about how women who are financially struggling in the Black community tend to have the most children, whereas the professional Black women have few or no children. She discusses the affect this it is having on the caliber of our youth and essentially our tomorrow. I stand by the Tupac line in Keep Your Head Up “And since a man can’t make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one.” Especially since I’ve recently been getting more experienced in my professional career, I can’t blame the women who work harder than the average, who don’t want to come home and tend to children. Worthy of a separate discussion in itself, we should consider the fact that the percentage of professional black women who are single is astounding. Single motherhood is not something to take lightly.
I would, however, like to open the topic for discussion for our men and women in the Black community and beyond, because this really is a socio-economic issue more than it is a race one, in my opinion. It becomes racial when we (Black people) are looking out for ourselves, within the larger scope of the issue. But it is an issue none-the-less. So here’s the letter…
Last weekend I attended my best friend’s bday dinner (the big 30)! A bunch of us were sitting around engaging in the regular banter of late 20’s/ early 30 young professionals. My BFF segues from into a story about a visit at her Ob/Gyn where her doctor, a white woman, begged her to start multiplying. The Ob/Gyn hoped not to offend, then told her more educated, professional AA’s need to start having babies and need to start having them soon, to balance out the craziness in our community.
She asked my BFF if any of her friends have babies (which none of us do). Upon hearing that we did not, her OBGYN was futher alarmed. She asked what is going to become of African- Americans if all of the educated folks continue to be baby free?
This really got me thinking. at that brunch table were all act right, educated, self respecting AA’s. And we’re ALL baby free? Then I thought about my circle at work and beyond who are mostly baby- free too. The more I thought about it, the more I realized my BFF’s OBGYN may be on to something!
The people in our community that need to produce the most are not and the people who need to stop producing, multiply like there is no tomorrow. What will happen to future generations?? We complain that there is a lack (in particular) of well mannnered, educated AA men. But if we are not getting married and having babies and in turn, raising well-mannered, educated AA men, who is to blame?
Back in the day, WEB Dubois proclaimed that we need to rely on the “Talented Tenth” to move us forward as a community. I would argue that the so- called Talented Tenth is failing our community. We are no longer getting married— or believing in marriage— and we are no longer reproducing (at the rate of other folks in the community).
I know your position on babies, but maybe we should re-think our position on not having children. We need more future Belles than not.
For the Belle’s full feedback on the letter, check her post out here.
I WOULD LOVE TO HERE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS TOPIC. LET’S KEEP IT CLEAN AND RESPECTFUL!
Soon after, pictures surfaced of Kanye getting buzzed up on the VMAs red carpet (pre-awards) with a bottle of Henny to the left and snake skin woman to the right. Again, I’m not saying he’s right by any means, nor is being drunk an excuse for outlandish and hurtful behavior. Kanye was definitely wrong, and has been wrong+sober in the past. My point though, is that the entire study of psychology is based on the brain and how we all react to life’s circumstances differently. There are plenty of drunks on the street or even in our families who are the way they are because of their reaction to circumstances. “Dam, something is wrong with him, he needs help” is more powerful than “F*ck Kanye, he’s a d*ck,” which is all I was hearing at the time.