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      • Oct
      • 24
      • 2009
    • Professional Black Women Need To Reproduce?

      Written by Rondel at 2:15 am on Oct, 24 2009
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    There’s a great blog out there called A Belle in Brooklyn, authored by a southern woman who journals her adventures of life in the BK. Recenly she had a very thought provoking post about how women who are financially struggling in the Black community tend to have the most children, whereas the professional Black women have few or no children. She discusses the affect this it is having on the caliber of our youth and essentially our tomorrow. I stand by the Tupac line in Keep Your Head Up “And since a man can’t make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one.” Especially since I’ve recently been getting more experienced in my professional career, I can’t blame the women who work harder than the average, who don’t want to come home and tend to children. Worthy of a separate discussion in itself, we should consider the fact that the percentage of professional black women who are single is astounding. Single motherhood is not something to take lightly.

    I would, however, like to open the topic for discussion for our men and women in the Black community and beyond, because this really is a socio-economic issue more than it is a race one, in my opinion. It becomes racial when we (Black people) are looking out for ourselves, within the larger scope of the issue. But it is an issue none-the-less. So here’s the letter…

    CB101642

    Last weekend I attended my best friend’s bday dinner (the big 30)! A bunch of us were sitting around engaging in the regular banter of late 20’s/ early 30 young professionals. My BFF segues from into a story about a visit at her Ob/Gyn where her doctor, a white woman, begged her to start multiplying. The Ob/Gyn hoped not to offend, then told her more educated, professional AA’s need to start having babies and need to start having them soon, to balance out the craziness in our community.

    She asked my BFF if any of her friends have babies (which none of us do). Upon hearing that we did not, her OBGYN was futher alarmed. She asked what is going to become of African- Americans if all of the educated folks continue to be baby free?

    This really got me thinking. at that brunch table were all act right, educated, self respecting AA’s. And we’re ALL baby free? Then I thought about my circle at work and beyond who are mostly baby- free too. The more I thought about it, the more I realized my BFF’s OBGYN may be on to something!

    The people in our community that need to produce the most are not and the people who need to stop producing, multiply like there is no tomorrow. What will happen to future generations?? We complain that there is a lack (in particular) of well mannnered, educated AA men. But if we are not getting married and having babies and in turn, raising well-mannered, educated AA men, who is to blame?

    Back in the day, WEB Dubois proclaimed that we need to rely on the “Talented Tenth” to move us forward as a community. I would argue that the so- called Talented Tenth is failing our community. We are no longer getting married— or believing in marriage— and we are no longer reproducing (at the rate of other folks in the community).

    I know your position on babies, but maybe we should re-think our position on not having children. We need more future Belles than not.

    For the Belle’s full feedback on the letter, check her post out here.

    I WOULD LOVE TO HERE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS TOPIC. LET’S KEEP IT CLEAN AND RESPECTFUL!

    In Love Sex & Magic AA, african american, black women, child, children, economic, poor, professional, rich, status, wealthy, welfare
    4 Comments
      • Sep
      • 15
      • 2009
    • Are You High School? Why I’m Still Team Kanye

      Written by Rondel at 1:26 pm on Sep, 15 2009
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    I am not angry with Kanye West and let me tell you why. Right after Kanye’s stunt at the MTV VMAs, I was in shock for about 6 minutes. I really couldn’t speak or think clearly because I have been an avid music award viewer since I was a child, seen quite a few things, but nothing like that. Kanye was wrong for interrupting Taylor Swift’s speech, taking the mic, downplaying her award and re-awarding Beyonce – who from the looks of her face and body language was quite embarrassed and wanted nothing to do with the debacle. There’s no denying that Kanye had no right to take those actions and step on the Swift’s young, innocent joy.

    However, I immediately knew something was wrong with Kanye. Something wasn’t the same. Yea we’ve known him to be outlandish and tell award shows that they’re being disrespectful for cutting off his acceptance speech (Grammy’s) or not awarding him when he felt he was deserving (MTV), but there was something different this time. Before he was defending himself and hurting no one. This time he was on a rant to defend another artist and hurt an artist who I’m sure worked hard for her success. I immediately wondered why.

    People were quick to bash Kanye West. They didn’t take two seconds to see that this wasn’t his usual antic…that there was a deeper issue, which I think was pretty clear for any person with depth. But of course, the general population is rather shallow and oblivious.

    kanye-west-amber-rose-2009-mtv-vmasSoon after, pictures surfaced of Kanye getting buzzed up on the VMAs red carpet (pre-awards) with a bottle of Henny to the left and snake skin woman to the right. Again, I’m not saying he’s right by any means, nor is being drunk an excuse for outlandish and hurtful behavior. Kanye was definitely wrong, and has been wrong+sober in the past. My point though, is that the entire study of psychology is based on the brain and how we all react to life’s circumstances differently. There are plenty of drunks on the street or even in our families who are the way they are because of their reaction to circumstances. “Dam, something is wrong with him, he needs help” is more powerful than “F*ck Kanye, he’s a d*ck,” which is all I was hearing at the time.

    To be completely honest, if you didn’t like Kanye and didn’t support his music before this situation, none of what I’m saying is directed to you. You can continue disliking him and not supporting him, as I can completely understand and respect your viewpoint. He has done and said many controversial things in the past that can polarize you to either love or hate him. Personally, before this point, he didn’t make me do more than either laugh or shake my head. My comments are directed to the Kanye supporters who tolerated or even rocked with him before, who are suddenly anti-Kanye. These people are fickle and simple-minded. These are the people who read tabloid covers or hear gossip from a friend, nod their heads and all of a sudden that word is gospel. These are the people who ran Michael Jackson into the ground. Do better.
    Ask yourself if you’ve ever been drunk and said or done something that hurt someone else. Or have you ever had a friend who you’ve forgiven for drunken dumbness after they apologized? Chances are you’ve been in at least one of those scenarios. I’ve forgiven friends who did drunken dumbness and they were not even drinking out of depression. They were just drunk to be drunk. So think a little deeper as to why some people would be weighing this simple situation between two artists so heavily, as if he beat someone, or statutory raped someone?

    Not to mention, this is THE SAME Kanye who was THE ONLY celebrity bold enough to call out the President of the most powerful country in the world and say that he doesn’t like black people. How easily people forget. “George Bush doesn’t care about black people!” Career on the line and all, Kanye has always talked out of turn, hate it or love it. This time, yes, it went a little too far because he’s been drinking away his depression… because he’s going through some things with the his mother passing, his fiance leaving him, the stress of a non-stop life on stage and the ordinary stresses of life. You don’t know that you yourself wouldn’t turn to alcohol if you were dealing with his battles. Or even if not alcohol, what would your reaction be? Running through women/men to fill a void? Shutting people who love you out of your life? Becoming a workaholic so you don’t have to deal with the pain that is your reality? Everyone has something.

    But the question remains, if Kanye sincerely apologized for hurting Swift and anybody else who got hurt, why are some Kanye fans turning their backs? Is he not human? Is what he did REALLY that bad? Or is it just easier to write someone off instead of trying to figure them out?

    The overall point is this: Kanye isn’t paying me to write this, but as usual, celebrity lives reflect our own. We go through what they go through, just under less magnification. We get scrutinized from the people around us rather than people around the world. If you were a Kanye fan before and you turn your back now, you’re really high school and need to do better. Perez Hilton and a number of celebrities and bloggers are on this rampant anti-Kanye thing like he punched them in the mouth. High school!

    Picture this. High school: you had a homie who was outspoken as hell, but you accepted it or even liked it. It was entertaining as hell and usually they didn’t hurt anybody but themselves, but they didn’t care. Then one day your homie was going through some personal things and had a bad day, he spazzed on some chick you don’t even care for. Word spread around school that he was uncool for it and even after he apologized and explained himself, people just stopped talking to him. Is that still your homie?

    In Music AA, act out, alcoholism, dead, depressed, dying, hate, hurt, kanye west, mic, michael jackson, mother, MTV, outlandish, pain, psychology, taylor swift, VMA, wrong
    14 Comments
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